” Careful the things you say,
Children will listen.
Careful the things you do,
Children will see.
And learn.”
Several years ago when Maggie was a freshman in high school, she performed in the chorus of her school’s production of Steven Sondheim’s “Into the Woods”. As anyone who’s experienced being a part of a musical, or has lived with someone who has been part of a musical production knows, you end up listening to the score many times over until it eventually becomes programmed into the soundtrack of your daily life. Fortunately, I grew to love the quirky characters and pithy lyrics of the music in “Into the Woods” and eventually bought the CD and added it to my I Tunes.
Even though I would be hard pressed to choose a favorite song from the pack, one that resonated with me at the time of Maggie’s chorus-girl days was the “Finale – Children will Listen.” Probably because my children we in the midst of their teens and I was praying that the seeds I’d planted in their single digit years would grow and carry them through those years where choices can affect their lives in a big way. I took these lyrics to heart and used them as a prayer to remind myself that even though Maggie and Andy seemed to be challenging me at every point, they were really paying attention; or at least I hoped so.
“Children may not obey,
But children will listen.
Children will look to you
For which way to turn,
To learn what to be.
Careful before you say,
“Listen to me.”
Children will listen.”
Sometimes, when I look back at my career motherhood, I worry that some of the things my children heard me say have impacted on some of their adult life choices. Specifically, I wonder if my struggles with the Catholic Church which I shared in discussions with Dave and friends while my kids were around, have led to their lack of interest in participation. A dear friend of mine told me that on the contrary, I had simply catechized them too well; that they have a better understanding of what it means to be a part of the Church than most people do and they aren’t sure they want to be a part of it. Anyway, for me, that is the dark side of what children will hear.
On the bright side, the last time I chatted with Maggie she told me that she and Jan had received enough cash as wedding gifts to purchase the new, smaller refrigerator they were hoping to get for their kitchen. I was very excited that they would be able to remove the giant white behemoth dominating their tiny kitchen for something sized more appropriately. I asked, “Did you get it?” She said, “No. I told Jan we couldn’t cash any of the checks until we wrote the thank you notes.” I was delightfully gob smacked! That is exactly what I told the kids when they were little when they received checks for birthdays and Christmas! It’s been such a long time, I’d totally forgotten. I don’t have to wonder about that one.