On My Soapbox – Page 2 – The Monica Chronicles

August 20, 2013

In Your Face Book

When did Facebook change from being a place you could go to find old friends and spy on your kids into a place to vent political positions and make hurtful statements?

Back when I first joined the Facebook community, my main goal was a watchful eye on my children when they were away at school. I enjoying seeing them enjoying themselves at parties and attempted to gauge how well things were going by their updated posts. From time to time, I would get a “Mom vibe” and call to see how things were going. It was healthy spying; a way to check in on my little ones from the shadows, just like I would do when they were little and asleep in their beds or peeking out the kitchen window while they played in the yard.

As a side benefit, I have been amazed at the number old friends and classmates I have reconnected with through Facebook. Each time I hear from someone I haven’t seen in ten, twenty, thirty and in some cases, more than forty years, it is cause for great celebration. Moving around as I have, I’ve made so many more friends than most folks can expect to in a lifetime. Being able resume relationships has been an incredible gift; a miracle of modern technology.

But, just as every black cloud has a silver lining, white fluffy clouds likewise seem to contain dark centers. In the past few years, Facebook has been a place of political slamming. I’m not talking about a healthy debate for the purpose of sharing ideas and exchanging information in respectful manner, (which is really best done over a glass of wine or scotch) but outward attacks on anyone whose opinion may differ in down-right mean-spirited, highly spun one-liners crafted with the finesse of a bitch-slap. Not only is this kind of thing unpleasant to read, but it can also be extremely hurtful and divisive.

I have recently become aware that some of my own family members’ profiles have blocked or been blocked by other family members because of these online disagreements. It saddens me to think that because of opposing political ideas, the choice has been made to excommunicate family members, preventing the sharing of the things we all hold so dearly in common; love of family, love of country and love of God. To coin an old saying, the baby has literally been thrown away with the bath water.

Through the years I’ve heard people complain that they don’t want to read each time a friend has been to Starbucks or where they went on vacation. I gotta say that I would much rather see those kinds of posts than the ugly, at times malicious posts from both liberals and conservatives. And, like any experience parent, I’m really not interested in who started it; I just want it to stop.

June 27, 2013

Marriage is What Brings Us Together….

For the past several months and the next 72 days wedding planning has loomed on the horizon of my thoughts. With Maggie and Jan’s special day just ten weeks away, we are nearing the point of final contract signing and deposit paying with the venue and caterer. From here on in it will be just the occasional and final tweaking of details.

With all this wedding planning, memories of my own wedding and the meaning of marriage have been ever-present. I remember the excitement of the day when Dave and I finally stood up before our friends and family and committed our lives to each other. We’d taken a rather lengthy “test drive” with our relationship, more than six years, living together the last six months or so. People may think living together is the same as being married, but from my experience, it is very different.

The public expression of vows is not something to be pooh-poohed. It is a momentous statement on anyone’s part, akin to a president taking an oath of office or a service member swearing an oath of allegiance to serve the country with one major exception. I believe that when a couple vows to commit to each other, God is also present. It is not a contract, but a covenant. I don’t even believe the couple needs to believe in God, because God loves all people God has created, unconditionally.

So, given my current frame of mind, it is not surprising that two of the biggest items in the news this week have caught my attention. Both involve marriage; first, the fact that a growing number of heterosexual couples have declined going through the conventional channels of marriage to start families, finding it archaic and secondly, that homosexual couples have successfully fought DOMA for the right to have their marriages recognized. It seems that the GLBT community have recognized that living together is not the same as being married while many of our young straight couples have not.

It’s a curious conundrum.

I have joked with Maggie that when folks see on her Facebook page that she’s in a relationship with Jan, that folks would wonder if Jan was a guy or girl. (Jan, pronounced “Yan”, is the German version of John.) We’ve had a few laughs about it, but honestly, if Maggie had the kind of relationship with a female Jan instead of a male Yan, I believe I would be okay with it. Naturally it would have taken some adjustment, but in the end, the goal of any parent is to see their children living a healthy, happy life with a loving partner.

And, while the Church may not condone a same-sex marriage, I don’t think it is within the powers of the Church to put limits on whom God can love or approve of. If God is love, as we are taught and God’s love is unceasing and unconditional, who are we to make a judgement call.

Many people when making a decision, ask themselves, “What would Jesus do?” I tend to recall the image of Jesus in John, Chapter 8; sitting in the ground, writing in the dirt with his finger while the Pharisees and scribes asked him to condemn the adulterous woman. “Let the one among you without sin be the one to throw the first stone at her.” He said. If we are making a judgement on someone else, that is what we need to keep in mind. What he said to the woman after they all left; that’s between the two of them.

So, that’s a lot to munch on. I honestly don’t know what the right answer is, but at this point, I can’t see the wrong in choosing love.

February 25, 2013

A Good Shepherd?

e good shepherd One of my favorite Bible verses is the 23rd Psalm, “The LORD is my shepherd, ….” It is a source of great comfort when I am low and reassurance when I am feeling uncertain.

I have always found the image of Jesus as the “Good Shepherd” to be so warm and loving, gently guiding his sheep from pasture to pasture in search of safety and sustenance. Today I got a much different glimpse of those who profess to follow in His footsteps view the role.

An article in this morning’s Daily Progress, the Charlottesville, VA paper, reported that Bishop Francis X DiLorenzo (Bishop of the Diocese of Richmond, VA) has told the Church of the Holy Apostles, a blended Roman Catholic/Episcopal parish located in Virginia Beach, that they can no longer worship together as they have for the past thirty years. That’s right, they’ve been sharing the Word of God together and then separating for denominational specific rites of the Eucharist for thirty years!

Following a study begun last November, they are being told that allowing Catholics and non-Catholics to participate in a combined communion liturgy violated Roman Catholic norms. I know the Church moves slowly, but this is a bit extreme.

As long as I can remember the Holy Apostles community has been a haven for inter-faith couples wishing to worship together and share community with each other. Through my years in Virginia Beach, I’ve known several families who attended Holy Apostles because it offered a bridge between the different faith traditions which are so incredibly close in many, many ways. Now they must find a way to separate but maintain their community; a challenging concept wouldn’t you agree?

In his statement, Bishop DiLorenzo stated, “As the shepherd of the Diocese of Richmond, it is my prayerful desire that this ecumenical community at Holy Apostles continues and flourishes.” From my perspective, he seems less of a shepherd and more of a sheep dog nipping at the heels of that community. It seems to me that a real shepherd would have let this unique community alone, to flourish as it has in the past. It is a small parish, with a rather plain facade. Most folks driving up Lynnhaven Parkway probably don’t even know what a remarkable place it is, or sadly, was.

If you’d like more information on the vision the community of Holy Apostles was founded upon, you can visit their website: http://www.ha-arc.com/bhistory.html.

Postscript:

This week’s issue of The Catholic Virginian stated that the investigation into the practices of The Church of the Holy Apostles was prompted by a letter written to the Papal Nuncio for the US by a man from New York who read about the parish in a magazine. Sadly, there do seem to be some “well-meaning” Catholics who deem it their duty to report any kind of what they consider to be irregularities to Church officials. In our previous parish, we had visitors who wrote the Bishop concerning all kinds of things ranging from the lack of kneelers in our church to the recipe of the communion bread. After wrestling with the options available to me, I have decided to pray for these people, that they will learn to see beyond rules and regulations and see the face of God instead.

January 15, 2013

Arming Myself With Hope

This morning as I sipped my coffee playing Letterpress with my sister Barb (a game we’re addicted to that we play on our I-Pads) a story on the Today show caught my attention. The piece concerned self-defense classes in Texas; not the self-defense classes where folks are taught how to break away from an attacker, break a nose or give a good kick to the soft bits, but a pull out your gun and pull the trigger, potentially kill someone kind of self-defense. It wasn’t the class itself that caught my attention, but the fact that many of the students were teachers, feeling the need to be ready for the next Sandy Hook or Columbine attack. Compounding my shock was the fact that the governor of Texas has offered to pay for these classes for any school employee in the state who wishes to.

Granted, the political benefits of any governor making such an offer are bountiful. I remember having a bet with a friend as to which group had a larger membership, the NEA or the NRA. I can’t recall which one had more members but suffice it to say, both are major players in both elections and public policy. I believe everyone has the right to defend themselves when attacked, but I have real problem with guns in schools.

This is a photo of my elementary school, St Aloysius Catholic School in Springville, NY. Saint Aloysius School It was a safe peaceful place where in the early 1960’s we were in fear only of an attack from TB, polio or the measles. As children living in a farm community, there were guns in our homes – shot guns mostly, for hunting or killing a wood chuck. There were also BB guns and no, I don’t think anyone shot their eye out. I think the major difference between then and today is that guns were viewed as tools and not weapons – at least in my little town.

Fast forward fifty years and I am again living in a small town. It is not unusual to hear a gunshot during the day. I have always assumed it was varmint shooting, but now I’m not so sure.

A couple weeks ago, Dave and I stayed for a cup of coffee in the Hall after Mass and I made an off handed remark about placing armed guards in all of our schools; an idea I find repulsive. Why on earth would we want to have our children grow up believing they will only be safe is they are near someone carrying a gun?

I was surprised by the fact that the majority of the men in the group thought it was an excellent idea. The box was opened and out jumped a very spirited discussion on gun ownership. For the most part, it was the usual… guarantees by the Constitution….blah, blah, blah. (Not discounting the argument, but we’ve all heard it before.) The surprising bit was when the topic of assault rifles came up, one of the guys said they were needed to protect citizens from a “tyrannical government”.

A “tyrannical government”? That statement chilled me to the bone. What is really going on here? Are there really people in this country who believe that believe we need to have assault weapons in our homes to protect ourselves from the government? Why?

I understand there are people who are unhappy with our current administration and we are all rightly frustrated by the inertia of Congress. Everyone who knows me knows how prickly I felt about the eight long years of the last Bush administration. I felt the decisions made put our country on the wrong course for which we suffer now. But, it never occurred to me to create an arsenal in my upstairs closet to protect myself. Why? Because I know my American History.

Our history as a nation is full of political unrest, upheaval and inertia on the part of Congress. From the very beginning our country has produced men with differing views, presenting good arguments on both sides of issues. There have been hard fought debates, back room dealings and unfriendly persuasion. Still, with all that, we have survived. Our history hasn’t always been as idealic as my photo of St. Al’s and memories of my days on innocence but I would proudly stand it against the history of any other country in the world, confident that our tri-cameral system of government with its checks and balances works in spite of and because of our diversity and contention.

I have hope, both in God and in our country. My outlook is not dark and dismal as some profess. As for me I will continue to build my arsenal with hope and love.

September 7, 2012

Political Politeness

Join Or Die — Not much of a choice here, is there?

I’ve studied enough American history to know that ugliness in political campaigns is nothing new. In our nation’s infancy, signs like these appeared setting the backdrop for the Revolution. Seeing this as the beginnings of a theme as opposed to just a piece of quaint Americana, is disheartening and makes me wonder just what percentage of American colonists really wanted to break from England. What would have been our consequence for not breaking? Would we now suffer through life as the Canadians do? Doesn’t seem that bad. Anyway, the question I wrestle with is why there is so much political intolerance in this country. Here, in the land of the free and the home of the brave I actually had to think twice about putting an Obama bumper-sticker on my car, not because I am ashamed or have doubts about my convictions, but because for the past four years I have decided to keep my mouth shut (for the most part) to avoid the onslaught of heated discussions, debate and sometimes downright rudeness from others who feel comfortable in spewing ugly innuendo half truths with the intensity and conviction of a evangelical preacher. Is this really necessary?

We don’t seem to be able to quietly discuss issues from differing viewpoints. Instead we poke fun at the opposing candidate, making them seem totally idiotic or worst of all, vilifying them. PACs run ads and post ominous signs like the Americans for Prosperity who have large black signs posted here in Greene County adjacent to the Republican candidate sings that read “November is Coming” in bold white letters, as if we’re facing the apocalypse. Why the fear mongering? Are people really that afraid? I’ve heard many folks say the whole election process is too long. I know that by Election Day I will be ready for the whole thing to be over – God willing and the chads don’t hang. I also know who I hope will win. Until then I am willing to sit down and have a cup of coffee or glass of wine with anyone who’d like to chat with me about why they support who they do, as long as they listen politely to me as well.

July 3, 2012

Pardon My Social Faux-Pas

I know it’s not polite to discuss politics or religion in public, especially if you hold a view contrary to what the most vocal groups share so fully on Facebook and in jokes forwarded ad nauseum via the internet and email but I’d like to quietly offer a connection I made last Sunday during Mass.

Dave and I were lectors; a task we both cherish, to stand before our community and proclaim the Word. We make a point of preparing to proclaim God’s word and not just read it like we’re giving directions to install a DVR or assemble a piece of furniture we bought in a box. The Word is alive and should be presented that way.

So, there I was, listening to Dave read the following from 2 Corintians…………..

“Brothers and sisters: As you excel in every respect, in faith, discourse, knowledge, all earnestness, and in the love we have for you, may you excel in this gracious act also.
For you know the gracious act of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, for your sake he became poor, so that by his poverty you might become rich. Not that others should have relief while you are burdened, but that as a matter of equality your abundance at the present time should supply their needs, so that their abundance may also supply your needs, that there may be equality. As it is written: Whoever had much did not have more, and whoever had little did not have less.”

…………. when it occurred to me that maybe St. Paul’s message could be applied to us given the timing of this reading and last week’s Supreme Court ruling on the Obama health care bill. St. Paul was pretty clear to the Corintians that Christians should share equaly in all things. While I’m not saying that this new health bill is what St. Paul had in mind, I do believe that the idea behind it is. Health care should be made available to all persons in this country. If we can do all other great stuff we do, why can’t we make that happen?

I think it’s time as Christians and Americans to stop the shouting at each other and start actually discussing the problems of inequality we face in our country today. The bullying has got to stop. Non Christians are more than welcome to join the conversation. It’s just that those of us who call ourselves Christians should be looking toward a higher authority than PACs and other interest groups for our guidance. We should trust in the Lord and not let fears keep us from doing what is right.

Many will say, “Sure, in a perfect world, maybe that would work.” I say, Jesus gave us the instructions and kingdom values to make our world a perfect world. Now we just have to agree on what that means….. Heavy sigh!