To Helen and Back

Last Saturday Dave was feeling a bit antsy and wanted to “do something”.  We were in the second day in our visit with Mom and Dad and he’d been left behind the day before while the gals went shopping.  Since we were running low on Nora Mills pancake mix, I suggested we take a drive down to Helen to the Nora Mill to pick some up.

All were invited to join us but only Quyen was interested.  Dad and “the boys” had some work to do around the homestead to prepare for Dad’s new garage and Mom and Debbie said that Helen was a place you only needed to see once.  So, the three of us started off just after breakfast on our adventure.

Helen, GA started out as a logging community.  After the trees were gone, the citizens of Helen decided to reinvent the town into an Alpine tourist destination with a seemingly unending line of gift shops, candy shops and restaurants all decorated like a scene from Heidi.  As we walked through the Beer Garden, I even heard a German version of the Beach Boys’ “Don’t Worry Baby”.   We did a little shopping, ate some passable German sausage and then headed off to the mill. Nora Mill is an actual water power mill on the Chattahoochee River offering a good selection of stone ground corn products including pancake mixes, cereals and grits.

As a Yankee gal, I was not raised on grits and it has taken me a long time to acquire an appreciation for them.  I started with cheese grits, moved on to shrimp and grits and now I’ll eat some plain grits with a little butter and salt and pepper.  In my humble opinion, the stone ground grits are the best.  Nora Mills calls them “Georgia Ice Cream” (just like mashed potatoes are “Polish Ice Cream”).  I did go a little nuts in the store, grabbing several bags of ground goodness.If you want to try them yourself, check out the website: www.noramill.com.

By the time we left the mill we were all tired and ready to head back to the homestead.  I think I forgot to mention that all the German goodness in Helen is accessed by one two lane highway.  As we were leaving town heading to the mill, cars were backed up bumper to bumper in both directions in an alpine gridlock.  Not wanting to sit in the traffic, Dave elected to continue on the road out of Helen in hopes of finding an alternative route.  As he drove I sat juggling the Garmin and the navigation app on my phone.  Unfortunately, he was driving faster than I could get the information.  Quyen, in the back seat was frantically searching her phone.  After a few heated words exchanged in the front seat, Dave turned around and headed back to Helen where we joined the conga line out of town.

That lasted for about two minutes.  After sending a telepathic FTS!, Dave abruptly turned to the left making a u-turn and we were heading out of town again.  From that point on there was very little said for a long time.  The road signs all said we were heading toward Atlanta, not where we wanted to go.  But, when you’re driving in and around mountains, the route choices are few.  Finally we were able to determine a route back north and made a turn onto Old Blairsville Rd.  Since I knew were Blairsville was in relation to where we wanted to be, I knew were were at least headed in the right direction.  Sadly, along with our turn north, we were also going up a mountainside.

With successive yellow road signs with squiggles indicating the course of the road, up we climbed.  I rarely get car sick, but I was pretty close.  Quyen was silent.  Later she confessed she was tracking our journey on her  navigation app.  Finally we saw a sign for Hiawassee.  Ironically, the distance to Hiawassee was almost the same as it was when we were in Helen, forty minutes earlier.

As we neared our destination, the tension eased and we all decided that despite all the grand advances we’ve made, it would always be a good idea to keep an atlas in the car like we used to.  A big picture overview would have certainly helped.  As for Helen, I’m not sure I want to go back, at least not in the summer, or not with Dave and I’ll probably order my grits directly from the mill.  It’s worth the shipping to have someone else drive the stuff out of town for me!

A Mountaintop Experience

This past weekend Dave and I drove down to Hiawassee, GA to visit family.  My folks and  brother Scott and his wife Debbie live there; my brother John and his wife, Quyen were also visiting from New Mexico.  It was a mini-meeting of the clan; just half of the siblings and no grandchildren so the weekend was relatively calm and quiet.

The drives down and back were beautiful; spent mostly on four lane highways traversing the Appalachian mountains.  There were breathtaking views from almost every direction; vistas of green peaks with pluming mist rising like smoke from chimneys.  If it weren’t for the long stretches of kudzu draped trees, it would have been perfect.  Kudzu just makes me sad.

Like the sea, I never sate my appetite for more mountain views.  On Sunday afternoon the six of us “kids” borrowed Dad’s van and took a drive up to Brasstown Bald, the highest peak in the state of Georgia rising almost 4,800 ft.  From atop the visitor center you can see for miles.  My new header photo was taken from that vantage point.

It wasn’t the clearest of days, but depending on which direction we faced, we could see sun, wispy clouds and even a threatening thunderhead.  Since we brought umbrellas with us, it naturally didn’t do more than sprinkle. As a special treat, Smokey Bear made an appearance at the Visitor’s Center while we were there.

It was great fun to spend time with my brothers.  The last time we went on a little spin like that was more than thirty years ago.  I’m not clear on the details, but it involved some kind of panel van and I’m not sure we even all had seats!  Time passes so quickly.  You spend your childhood in the close nest of your family, grow up and slowly ease away.  The, one day you realize that decades have passed since you’ve spent time with those who were with you almost every waking hour so long ago.  The squabbles over television channels, torments of teasing and giggles over bodily functions (these are my brothers after all) have knit us together like an old sweater.  The fabric may have be worn in a few places, but all in all, it’s still a comfortable sweater and best of all, no matter whether our sizes go up or down, it will always fit!

The Contented Sole

They say that when the going gets tough, the tough get going.  They don’t say where the tough go though do they?  Well, if I may be so bold, I’d like to suggest that for women at least, when the going gets tough, she should get going to the nail salon for a pedicure.  There seems to be few problems that can’t be helped by thirty minutes or so in the pedicure spa chair.

Such an intoxicating experience, to sit in a massaging recliner with your feet immersed in a mini spa tub, jets pulsing the tired soreness from those poor weary soldiers who literally carry the weight of your world.  And, if that weren’t enough, gentle hands tenderly reach for and caress these poor soles making them feel so good, refreshing them for the next steps of the day as they tote along the “few” extra pounds you’ve added over the years.

After the scrub, massage and coat of fresh color (I chose this shade of lavender shimmer just to reach outside the box.), it’s a short wobble in disposable flip flops and toe separators to the drying fans.  Yesterday I had my Kindle with me to finally finish the last few chapters of my book.  But it was not to be.

Jesus may have said where two or more are gathered, I am there.  Well, He must be the one that starts up all these conversations with me and whoever I am near because in my case  where I am gathered with just one other human being, there is chatting.

Yesterday my reading was interrupted by a delightful older woman who was getting her toes done following a lengthy hospital stay.  She complained a little about her back hurting.  I asked her why she’d been in the hospital.  To have a portion of her lung removed due to cancer she replied.  Well, I suppose that would hurt a bit.

Once the door had been cracked open; out poured her story.  She’d moved here about twenty years ago from Levittown, PA to help out with grandchildren, one of whom had some type of special needs.  She’s happy here; loves the area and is saddened by the amount of growth she has seen over the years. Aside from caring for her family, she worked for about ten year at the Greene County Senior Center.

I asked her if she had any further treatments ahead.  Nope, she’d already told her doctors; no chemo, no radiation.  She wants to spend whatever time she has left on her own, with her family and not strapped into a schedule of medical procedures.  Being on the receiving end of care was difficult for her, but she was really contented with her bright pink toes.

So oodles of thanks to the Russian immigrant who invented invented the pedicure spa chair in his garage in 1985.  According to Wikipedia there were 50,000 nail spas in the US in 2000; as of 2010 the number has doubled.  Personally I am thankful to live within walking distance from two salons.  I know that if I had to walk, my feet would be rewarded for the effort.

Fourth of July – Smalltown America Celebrates

As Fourth of July celebrations go, ours was pretty special this year.  It had been a tough week for the citizens of Greene County.  Last Friday night’s wind storm caused so much damage to the electrical grid that many didn’t have power by Wednesday and according to this morning’s news, are still without power today.  This past week has been dangerously hot and for many of the folks living out in the “hollers” no power means no water as well.

Independence Day was fore-casted to be another hot one, with temperatures climbing close to 100 degrees.  Despite the heat, both sides of the parade route in downtown Standardsville were lined with celebrators dressed in red, white and blue.

The parade was modest; consisting mostly of local fire and rescue squads, the sheriff’s office, service groups like the scouts and Ruritan, antique cars and tractors and an assortment of “Misses'” riding in convertibles.  Most “floats” tossed candy out to the little ones lining the curbs while one smart group offered popsicles and I gladly accepted!  Sadly there were no bands.  I spoke to Donna Richardson, one of the parade organizers and she said they’re working on it for next year.

Following the parade, the crowd was invited to join the VFW on the Greene County courthouse lawn for the raising of the flag and pledge.   There, on the tiny lawn lined by a white picket fence decorated with red, white and blue bunting, the festivities continued.  Both political parties had booths offering refreshment; the Republicans handed out slices of watermelon while the Democrats offered cold bottles of water along with their various bumper stickers, lawn signs and other campaign paraphernalia for the November election.  A portable stage sat at the far edge where the Green County Singers entertained the crowd with a selection of patriotic songs including a medley of the armed service hymns.  I have to admit that I still get goose bumps when I hear “Anchors Aweigh!”

The festivities concluded with the ringing of the courthouse bells.  It was a loud, deep bell, that I’m certain has been atop that building for more than one hundred and fifty years.  As it rang out, those who were veterans of these celebrations rang hand bells they’d brought with them. Daytime fireworks were shot off from the back field as the bells rang.  The bells and the booms were a wonderful reminder of the freedom we enjoy was Americans, the unity we feel in pride of our nation whatever our political beliefs and the cost of that freedom. Yes, it was a modest celebration, but so very rich in the essence of American tradition.  Being there and experiencing this simple grassroots event was so very special.  I can’t wait for next year!

Independence Days

It’s hard to believe that a year ago today as we celebrated Independence Day, we were saying our good-byes and preparing ourselves for a new life outside of Virginia Beach.  Looking back on my blogs from those days, I can feel that sadness that I thought I was avoiding.

Leaving Hampton Roads was a difficult choice for Dave and I.  After all, we’d lived there cumulatively over twenty five years; longer than either of us had ever lived anywhere.  We began our careers there, our babies were born there, we bought our first house there.  Our roots were deep and the decision to pull them and move on, even if it was best for us, was still not easy.

But now, a year later, we are settled in our new home and lives in the Piedmont.  This morning we are off to a Fourth of July parade in Standardsville, the Greene County seat.  Later this afternoon we will gather with our neighbors for a barbecue and fireworks.  I even baked a pie.

Yes, life goes on.  Our roots are not fully set here, but we are in good soil.  Sadness has been replaced by contentment.  It has been a good first year.

 

 

Pardon My Social Faux-Pas

I know it’s not polite to discuss politics or religion in public, especially if you hold a view contrary to what the most vocal groups share so fully on Facebook and in jokes forwarded ad nauseum via the internet and email but I’d like to quietly offer a connection I made last Sunday during Mass.

Dave and I were lectors; a task we both cherish, to stand before our community and proclaim the Word.  We make a point of preparing to proclaim God’s word and not just read it like we’re giving directions to install a DVR or assemble a piece of furniture we bought in a box.  The Word is alive and should be presented that way.

So, there I was, listening to Dave read the following from 2 Corintians…………..

“Brothers and sisters: As you excel in every respect, in faith, discourse, knowledge, all earnestness, and in the love we have for you, may you excel in this gracious act also.
For you know the gracious act of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, for your sake he became poor, so that by his poverty you might become rich. Not that others should have relief while you are burdened, but that as a matter of equality your abundance at the present time should supply their needs, so that their abundance may also supply your needs, that there may be equality. As it is written: Whoever had much did not have more, and whoever had little did not have less.”

…………. when it occurred to me that maybe St. Paul’s message could be applied to us given the timing of this reading and last week’s Supreme Court ruling on the Obama health care bill.   St. Paul was pretty clear to the Corintians that Christians should share equaly in all things.  While I’m not saying that this new health bill is what St. Paul had in mind, I do believe that the idea behind it is.  Health care should be made available to all persons in this country.  If we can do all other great stuff we do, why can’t we make that happen?

I think it’s time as Christians and Americans to stop the shouting at each other and start actually discussing the problems of inequality we face in our country today.  The bullying has got to stop.  Non Christians are more than welcome to join the conversation.  It’s just that those of us who call ourselves Christians should be looking toward a higher authority than PACs and other interest groups for our guidance. We should trust in the Lord and not let fears keep us from doing what is right.

Many will say, “Sure, in a perfect world, maybe that would work.”   I say, Jesus gave us the instructions and kingdom values to make our world a perfect world.  Now we just have to agree on what that means….. Heavy sigh!

It’s Good to be Home

We’ve been back for three days and aside from a few more loads of wash to go (an the dreaded ironing) we are pretty much back in our home routine.  The lawns have been mowed, the frig has been restocked (although not in that order) and Andy has again headed back to UCSD to teach a couple of semesters.  It’s just Dave and I and the “girls” here and life is good.

We’d planned on having a nice family dinner on Sunday to send Andy off on his trip.  But, life doesn’t always stay on a plan.  Our first challenge was in getting Andy’s car to start.  He didn’t drive it that much while he was staying with us and due to a lack of income, tended not to put much gas in the tank unless going on a trip.  The combination of hot summer weather, a minimal amount of fuel in the tank and inactivity did not make the poor old Honda inclined to start on the first turn of the key, or second or third either.  The men folk leaned under the open hood of the car, inspecting stuff and it was determined that a new battery was in order.

After a quick trip to Walmart and new battery installed, Andy put the key in the ignition hoping that would do the trick.  Voila; no change.  He kept at it, letting it rest between tries until the engine finally turned over and began to run.  Quickly, he jumped back into the car and drove off to fill the tank.  Victory!

Maggie said she would be arriving a little after five however she called just before five to say she was just heading out the door.  Dinner would be delayed.  Regrouping, we started the charcoal a little later than first planned and just put the chicken on the grill when she called again.  She was pulled over on the interstate just about twenty miles from the exit because the temperature gauge in her car registered her engine overheating – no steam, no check engine light, just a high reading on the gauge.

Although I sometimes complain that Dave isn’t always quick to lend a hand, when it comes to stuff like this, he is a champ.  Handing me the tongs and basting brush, he changed his shirt and left to rescue Maggie.

Knowing that your child is stopped in a car on the shoulder of an Interstate is a stressful experience.  For me it is especially nerve wracking because we lost my Uncle Bob and Aunt Chloe a few years ago when they were stopped on the road.  It was early on a Saturday morning, there was very few cars on the road and the weather was clear.  Nonetheless, a young man who fell asleep at the wheel went off the road hitting and killing them both.    Because of this the danger is real to me.  Being able to call her every few minutes on her cell phone made us both feel better, but obviously would provide no protection from a vehicle coming at her.

Meanwhile, here at the house, the chicken was cooking and Andy was packing up his car.

After about an hour, Dave called.  He’d put some oil in her car and they were heading to the exit.  A few minutes later he called back saying the car was still overheating.  After some deliberation, Maggie decided to call for a tow.  They would be delayed a while longer

Back at the ranch, Andy and I decided to eat dinner so he could stick to his schedule and leave on time.  Instead of the family dinner I’d planned, with all four us around the table, Andy and I sat with our plates on the coffee table, eating our chicken while watching Mythbusters.  After dinner, he loaded the last of his belonging into his car, kissed me goodbye.

About an hour later, Dave and Maggie walked through the door.  Maggie was wiped out.  While they were filling out the drop out form at the garage they witnessed a head on collision on the road fronting the station.  I think that seeing and hearing the crash was a vivid reminder of just how lucky she’d been.

So, a day and a half later, Maggie’s car is out of the shop and she is on vacation with her friend Allie.  Her temperature gauge had died.  Andy just texted me that he and his friend Justin have just arrive in San Diego.  His trip went well but now his check engine light is on.

As for me, I got up early, went to Lowe’s, rescued some “reduced” plants and spent the better part of the morning weeding and planting.  We are enjoying a cool day and the windows are open.  Except for the hum of the laundry equipment, the house is quiet.

What more can I ask for?

Life is a Beach

 

Seth and Caleb on the beach at Kitty Hawk.
Seth and Caleb on the beach at Kitty Hawk.

This past week Dave and I have been enjoying the wonders of North Carolina’s Outer Banks with Bonnie, Jim, Seth and Caleb along with Jim’s mother Marianne and niece Valerie.  It is a tradition we have celebrated for just about five years, give or take.  Each year Bonnie scopes out the available houses in our price range, narrows the field down to two or three and we vote on which house will be our beach home for the week.

In the past our vacations have been at the end of August, when the rates dip just before Labor Day.  Two years ago we stayed in a beautiful home called “Rose Cottage”; a sumptuous ocean front manse with multiple levels and lots of living area.  Two wide decks lined the back of each floor overlooking the pool and hot tub and ocean over the dune line.  Sadly our time was cut short by the approach of Hurricane Earl and we had to evacuate.  Earl wasn’t as big and bad as feared and because we all lived close by we were able to return the next day and pick up where we left off.

Last year the Berrymans vacationed in Disneyworld and we moved to Charlottesville so our beach trip didn’t happen.  Not wanting to run the risk of facing another evacuation, we decided to come down here earlier in the hurricane season.  Prices being higher, and ocean front homes like Rose Cottage way out of our price range, this year’s house is just a little further south, off the beach but backing up to the Cape Hatteras National Seashore.

Sunset from the Crow's Nest overlooking Hatteras National Seashore
Sunset from the Crow’s Nest overlooking Hatteras National Seashore

This year’s home, “Kinsale”, is lovely but lacks sufficient living space for eight people to spread out.  While there are multiple decks as well as a crow’s nest, the one great room can get pretty loud in the evenings when competition erupts between conversations and the TV.

Fortunately we don’t spend the majority of our time indoors.  With a beach access handily located across the street, we form a daily caravan of towel bearing beach beasts with cart in tow carrying a variety of chairs, boogie boards, umbrella and sand engineering equipment.  Once our encampment is established, Seth begins his shell hunt, Caleb heads for the water and the rest of us plop in our chairs to nap or read.

After some time in the sun and we are too hot to take the sun any longer, we pad down to the water. Shyly, we allow the first waves to tickle our toes.  Then, after a few seconds of easing into the surf, a wave will break on us, wetting us down in preparation for full wave riding.  Sucking in our breath as our warm blooded bodies adapt to the colder ocean temperature, we are ready to go.

I am not a great swimmer, but I there are few things in this world I enjoy more than bobbing in the waves.   When I am in the ocean, it is as if all the times I’ve jumped into a wave are rolled into one.  I am no longer Monica, “middle aged woman closer to sixty than I ever imagined”, I am “just Monica”, ageless and content, weightless and at peace.   I’m not sure how long I can last out in the surf because I always go back in when my buddies do, but I know that I’m not really ready to go.  I’m left wanting more.

Caleb, Monica and Dave in the surf

Today is our last day here.  It is a day of gathering together our belongings which have spread throughout this house making it our home this week.  Following a morning dip, we will head over to Manteo for lunch.  Tomorrow morning we will wake early, pack up our cars and head home.  It has been a great week and has passed so quickly.  I’m not sure I’m really ready to go home yet. Again, I’m left wanting more.

DAve profile cropped

Happily Ever After All

Tomorrow will mark thirty two years of married life for Dave and me.    Together, we have shared the stresses of daily life along with added challenges that go hand in hand with a professional Naval career.  To our credit, we have (so far) successfully raised and launched two reasonably well adjusted children into the world and have two wonderful grandchildren (so far) that we love to dote upon.

1980 seems so long ago!  How could we have ever been that young, starting our lives together.  But ready or not, we took the leap of faith and became the nucleus of our own family.

Wedding photos _the look

Of all the photos in our album, all candid shots taken by friends, this is one of my favorites.  You can tell by the serious expressions on Barb and Mike’s faces that something important was being said, but Dave and I were caught in our own time and space.  It’s as if the world around us was in suspended animation.  I suppose you could say that was when the Spirit entered our union and the  covenant was forged.

I think the secret of a successful marriage is maintaining the ability to do just that – to block out the rest of the world from time to time, grab you partners hand and remind yourselves that you are in it together, for the better and the worse.

Thirty two years can go by pretty fast.

I am so thankful that I still have Dave’s hand in mine as we head off into the future.

Wedding photos _exit

 

The Coffee Files

Why is it so satisfying to open a new can of coffee; to hear the air rush in as the vacuum seal is broken releasing the long captured aroma?  Even if you aren’t a coffee drinker, you have to admit there are few things in life that smell so good as coffee brewing.

Instant coffee was the first thing I learned to make in the kitchen.  I remember feeling great pride as a young child, probably eight or nine, being able to put the kettle on all by myself and then carefully pour the hot water into the mug on top of the precisely measured crystals.  Dad took a teaspoon of sugar and a bit of milk in his, Mom drank hers black.  After stirring each cup to insure all ingredients were dissolved, I would carry the cups one by one to my parents.  At least that’s how I remember it.

Memory is a funny thing.  I think of my memory as a huge group of filing drawers.  Most of the time memories are filed properly, some times there are misfilings and other times I guess the memory was just dropped on the floor or went out with the trash.  In any case, something as simple as the smell of coffee can open a variety of drawers and memories come flooding out.

Some Sunday mornings when I was a kid, we’d go to my Grandma Gray’s house after Mass.  My Dad worked most Sundays and took the car with him so one of the aunts or uncles would swing by, pick us up and take us to church and then occasionally to Grandmas afterwards.  We kids liked going to Grandma Gray’s because my youngest aunt and uncles were around our age and with the four, and then five of us and the three of them, there was plenty to do.

Grandma Gray had a percolator which we kids found utterly fascinating.  We would stand by the counter to watch the brown brew bubble up into the glass bulb at the top as the air was filled with the rich coffee aroma.  As long as we were on our best behavior, we were allowed to stay in the kitchen and sit at the table with the grown-ups.  Trouble makers were banished to the basement where the real mischief began.  And, in the world of kid injustice, all it took was one bad apple and the banishment was inclusive. Protesting but compliant, the troop of us would head down the stairs.

Just thinking about Grandma’s basement brings back the clomping sound of our feet on the linoleum covered steps with steel edges.  The heaviest of us weighed about fifty pounds but when we raced up and down those stairs we sounded like the cavalry charging.  One of the steps was missing a back, perfect for someone to lie in wait to ambush and grab the ankles of an unsuspecting soul coming down the stairs.

Despite the stern warnings from above of “someone’s going to get hurt!”, I don’t remember anyone actually getting hurt.  We would run through the basement, thump on the yellowed keys of the old piano and watch cartoons on the old cabinet television with the mysterious mouse turd that lay between the glass and picture tube.  It was a childhood wonderment that inspired many hypotheses on how the mouse was able to squeeze into that space and leave his calling card.

When one of us felt especially daring we would quietly go upstairs, stealthy pass the adults and enter the bathroom, carefully shutting the door behind us as to not attract attention.  Once inside, we’d open the laundry chute, peek down to make sure the hamper was aligned properly and then wiggle feel first into the shaft and slide the short ride to the basement.  This usually only worked for one person because no matter how careful or quiet the second kid was, the grown-ups were somehow tuned into the fact we were sliding down the laundry chute; which was not allowed.  Whether it was the reception of giggles and hoots when the first “laundranaut” hit the hamper or the realization that a second kid was heading into the bathroom when the first had not come out (not a good thing for many reasons) that sounded the alarm, I’m not sure but generally the chute riding was a short lived activity.

Other times, on days when the energy level was lower and we weren’t banished to the basement, I’d love to sit at the kitchen table with the grown-ups.  There was always so much laughter.  In their own, grownup way, they were just as full of mischief as us kids.  They would share stories about something they’d seen, a quipping comment or two would follow and then as they say in the movie listings, “hilarity ensued”.  Around the table the comments flew, each person challenging the rest of the group to come up with something better until at last, the ulitmate quip was spoken reducing the rest of the group to laughter and tears and sending many to the bathroom pronto to avoid embarrassment.  To laugh until you wet yourself was not a rarity in our family.

Well, it’s time to leave Grandma’s house.  My coffee cup is empty and there are chores to be done.  I’m glad I opened that new can of coffee today.  I wonder what will happen when I open the new jar of mayo.