My Marvelous Ms. “M”

A little more than two years ago, I wrote about a trip Dave and I took to our old parish in Virginia Beach to attend the funeral of our dear friend John Skiptunas. (Song of Farewell – April 22, 2017).  Just a few days ago I received an email letting me know that his wife and my dearest friend, Marlene passed away quietly with her children by her side.

I wasn’t surprised.  I knew it wouldn’t be long before Marlene joined John; she was so frail the last time I saw her.  My first reaction was to shed a few tears. Marlene has held a very special place in my heart for more than thirty years.  Her spunk, humor and intense devotion to God’s people will echo in my memories for the rest of my life.

Marlene and I became close in the early 90’s.  I was invited to join the newly formed RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) Team at St. Marks.  Prior to this team’s formation, adults seeking entry into the Church attended classes led by our pastor.  We’d had a pastoral leadership change and our new pastor felt a lay-led ministry was better and so the team was formed.

At our initial meeting, I was assigned with heading the Hospitality Committee and tasked with responsibility of finding someone to help me with the job.  Hospitality is something I take very seriously, especially at church.  With all of its rules and rituals, the Catholic Church can be a formidable institution to approach.  Friendly faces and personal warmth go a long way to put folks at ease.  So, when I thought about who I could ask to join me, I immediately thought about Marlene, who had made me feel welcome many years earlier when I was new to the parish.  Her warmth and friendliness had made me feel welcome enough to keep coming back; she was the perfect choice.  The only problem was, I didn’t really know her.

I remember looking her number up in the phone book (it was a long time ago) and nervously dialing her number.  She answered in her deep, sultry voice and I blurted out my invitation.  Marlene was friendly as always but hesitant about making the commitment but she agreed to attend the next team meeting with me.

In those early days, none of us really knew just how much of an impact that RCIA team would have on our lives.  We truly felt chosen, not just by the Team leader, but by God to do this work. We were as the song goes “…disciples, united in one Spirit, ignited by the fire…”

Marlene’s fuse was lit at her first meeting.  On our ride home, before I dropped her off she thanked me for inviting her to join the team.  “I think this is just what I need.” She said.  Then she told me that John had just lost his job and she was feeling very much at loose ends.  She thought our team would help ground her in prayer.

Being a part of the RCIA Team must have been what she needed because Marlene not only helped me that first year, but remained a part of the ministry for more than twenty-five years moving from hospitality to a catechist role.  All the while she put skin and bones on God’s word as she welcomed folks into the church in her warm and loving way.

I can’t say I will miss Marlene because she is so much a part of my own faith story.  She was hands down the best lector I’ve ever known.  In my own ministry role as lector, when I proclaim God’s word, I use her voice and cadence as a template, not that my higher voice can come close, but I do try to bring it down a notch.  Most of all I try to bring the word to life as Marlene did for me.

The past few days my eyes have occasionally filled with tears as memories of Marlene sweep  through and I know she will understand a few tears being shed since she was know for her free flow earning her nickname “Marlene the Cryer”.  Her tears where rarely for herself but in response to someone else’s suffering.

It’s hard to feel real sorrow for her loss.  Marlene led a good life.  It wasn’t always easy or pretty or ideal but it was authentic and real and her devotion to her family and her faith never wavered.  Knowing that she has been reunited with the love of her life, John, and that they’ll never have to say goodbye again gives me great joy.  Anyway I know she would want our tears to be turned into dancing.  She did like to boogie!