This morning when I let Izzie outside I was greeted by the most refreshing wave of cool fresh air I’ve experienced in many weeks. A cold front came through last night and we have been blessed by one of those rarities of mid-summer; a good hair day!
Dave just doesn’t seem to understand why I spend so much time worrying about and tending to my hair. Having resolved my dilemma of “to grow or not to grow” and decided on the non-committal “bob” as my default cut, I am becoming more and more dedicated to finding the right combination of shampoos, conditioners and styling products to achieve the desired amount of poof, body, shine and curl in my locks without overdoing it and suffering flat, limp dull, frizzy hair. And let’s not even begin to discuss color; that’s for another conversation involving professionals.
My side of the shower has become a wasteland of paired shampoo and conditioner bottles. I try to keep a limit of three kinds at a time, just to save space, but every once in a while, a fourth set will sneak in. There are more bottles in the back of the linen closet, waiting until atmospheric conditions may change and they maybe recalled to the shower. On the other side, Dave’s side, sit two lonely bottles; a body wash and a shampoo, not even a matching pair. His hair always looks perfect, perpetually thick, neat and wavy. It just doesn’t seem fair.
Every time I step into the shower I become a hair product alchemist; attempting to determine the correct shampoo and conditioner combination to use based a complicated algorithm involving how dirty and sweaty my scalp may be, the relative humidity, the season, what my plans are for the upcoming day and my general mood. It isn’t easy. Left to its own devices, my hair is limp and yields to an unattractive wave in the front and cowlick in the back. No way could I leave the house with my hair in such a state!
After it is washed, I wrap my hair in a terry towel and let it dry a bit before pulling out the blow dryer. Timing is of the essence. If I try to dry it too wet, it will take forever; if it is too dry, I may not achieve the lift I desire. Again, the weather can play a major role in how successful I am. Low humidity and cool days are the best, but hot, muggy summer days are the worst! On those days over ambitious hair drying can trigger a dreaded hot flash and result in a sweaty scalp rendering my do and dud. Products do help a bit, but again, it requires experience and a steady hand to insure the appropriate amount is used; too much and my hair becomes gunky and weighed down, too little and it becomes wispy and unruly. Hairspray can be a useful tool as well, but the same precautions apply.
Most of the work is mental, all the ciphering and risk assessment. Eventually, usually, I will achieve a result I feel confident I can put down my dryer and clear off the counter, satisfied I have done my best. In the end, most people won’t notice. If I ask him, Dave, like the well-trained husband he is, will answer, “You always look good”, which lulls me into a false sense of security. Then, on the days that I maybe don’t put forth the effort I am asked, “Do you feel okay?”
I know I’m not alone in the quest for perfect hair. This desire for great hair is pimped by Madison Avenue and perpetuated in fairy tales. Disney may have created princesses who can live without a prince, but not one of them has short hair and even Ariel, despite the fact she lives underwater, still has puffy hair! The need for good hair cuts across all races, cultures and income levels; the only difference is the dollar limit placed on the purchase.
Like it or not, I am a slave to my locks. And for at least today, after I’ve attempted to turn my straw into gold, the summer heat isn’t going to get me as soon as I step outside.