Yesterday morning I had breakfast with a much younger man. His mother, my friend Nicole, called me just the day before to tell me she was planning an impromptu road trip and asked if she and the kids could stop by to see us on their way to points north. Having not seen them in three years, I was ecstatic!
I first met Nicole and her husband Ralph when they attended a Baptism preparation class I was teaching at St. Mark’s in Virginia Beach. Nathan was just an infant and a preemie at that, just a tiny little thing. We quickly became friends and I loved getting to know Nathan and his older sister Natalie over donuts after Mass on Sunday. With my own children grown, it’s always an honor when a young child lets me into their world as a friend, allowing me to revisit my own childhood as well as the days of young motherhood when my own kids were discovering the world around them.
Three years is a long time for growing children. After such a long separation, I was a little concerned that Natalie and Nathan wouldn’t remember me. But, as it turns out with all good friends, once they were here and settled in (which didn’t take long), we all just picked up where we left off. Natalie remembered me but Nathan said he didn’t. It obviously didn’t concern him too much though as he was soon running in the backyard, hunting out the cats and checking out the house.
Natalie was delighted that she would be sleeping in her own room. At twelve and a half she has grown into a stunning beauty, graceful and poised. Equipped her cell phone and unlimited texting possibilities, she was able to remain in constant contact with a host of earthbound spirits in various locations. She is quieter than Nathan, who is prepared to provide a running dialog on a multitude of topics, but her smile speaks volumes.
Their mother, Nicole, is one of my very favorite people in the whole world. She is warm, caring, funny, smart and a good sport. In short, she is one of those women whom I felt an instant kinship with; a sister by different parents. I was so tickled that she decided to make a side trip to come for a quick visit.
Our visit was a short one, but we seemed to pack a lot for memories into it. After a delicious dinner of grocery store rotisserie chicken and corn on the cob, Nathan spotted fireflies in the yard and just had to catch some. I found him a jar and sent him out on his quest, but it was obvious he needed some assistance. With very little coaxing, Dave joined him on the hunt, sharing the benefit of his boyhood experience in the wilds of the cornfields in Iowa. Soon, two lightning bugs were captured in the jar and after posing for a quick photo, Nathan ran upstairs with his booty to show his sister!
Before he went to bed, I told Nathan he was welcome to come down as soon as he heard us downstairs so I wasn’t surprised to hear his cheerful “good morning” around 7:00 as I finished my first cup of coffee. “Did you sleep well?” I asked. He said he had and plopped in a chair. In full “nana-mode”, I asked if he needed to use the bathroom. Nope. “Would you like some pancakes?” Oh yes! So off to the kitchen we went.
He climbed up on the bar stool as I began to clear off the counter to make way for the griddle. “May I help you make the pancakes?” he asked. Never wanting to pass up help when it’s offered, I said yes.
After I measured out the mix and water, I passed the bowl to him and let him do the stirring, adding the water in parts to achieve the optimal batter. “My arm sure gets tired.” he said, switching the spoon to his left hand to spell the right. When if was thoroughly mixed, he passed the bowl to me and jumping down from the stool, trotted to the bathroom calling, “I never thought I’d have to go to the bathroom while I was making pancakes!” I don’t know as I ever thought I’d ever hear anyone express that thought before! What a hoot!
After washing his hands and returning to the kitchen we began to pour batter onto the hot griddle and in short order we were enjoying delicious pancakes along with some microwave turkey sausage. I asked Nathan if he needed help cutting his food. No, he could handle it. And he did! In fact, I have rarely seen such fine motor skills on a child his age.
As we ate our meal, our conversation grew more pensive. Nathan asked me if I had ever moved when I was a kid. I told him I had, a couple of times. Then he asked how old I was. When I told him I was 57, he looked at me for a moment as if he were trying to imagine so high a number associated with me. Then he grew serious and said, ” I don’t know what I would do if my dad died.” Where did that come from? I felt ever so ancient! He continued, “I think I would have to stay in my room and cry.” Then, looking down at his plate, stopping his knife and fork, he said seriously, “He’s done everything for me.” Moved by the sincerity of his comments, I assured him that his dad would be around for many, many years. After all, compared to my advanced age, he’s relatively young. Then, almost just as randomly as the conversation began, the topic shifted to something much lighter and soon Nicole and Natalie joined us.
As I said before, having a child share their thoughts with me is an honor. I am constantly reminded that even though they are smaller, and lack the life experience that we older folks do, their insight can be so poignant and pure. Thanks Nicole for sharing your beautiful young ones with me. I hope we can continue to see each other from time to time and be able to pick up where we left off. It is such a tremendous gift. I miss you already.
