If I Ever Have the Time, I’ll…..

I don’t know how many times I’ve said, “If I ever have the time, I’ll (insert item here)” and the time never seems to arrive. In fact, just prefacing anything with that statement meant that it was a pretty sure thing that whatever it was, it wouldn’t get done. It was more of an acknowledgement that it would be nice to do whatever it was in theory, when in actuality, there was always something else that was either more appealing or that needed to be done. The “ever ifs” simply got shoved to the side. Now, because of the peculiarities of our times with lots of time and no competing calendar events, I find that I’m not as much of a slug as I thought I was!

Most of what keeps me busy involves tidying up and organizing. You wouldn’t guess it by my office, but I really do enjoy a clean, well ordered workspace. Dust and clutter are a distraction that I am able to avoid for a long while until I reach a tipping point and I can’t take it anymore. Then I spring into action – when I have the time.

After three weeks in captivity, my office and most of my closets have been cleaned and reorganized. Same thing goes for my garden beds. In theory, I’d like them to be as neat and well kept as an English garden. But in normal times, theory and practice tend to be at odds when competing with commitments, errands, the gym and naturally the weather.

This spring, the weather has been absolutely gorgeous and I have no where to go. My once a week escape to get groceries doesn’t really interfere with anything. So, I’ve got the time to not only ponder important questions like, “Can mums be split?”, I actually search the web, find the answer and then execute my plan. I followed that question up with “Can a silver mound be split?” and was happy to discover it could be. As a result, my front flower bed has been tidied and is looking pretty good.

None of us knows how much longer we’ll have this gift of time to ourselves. Whether you’re binging on Netflix, reading through that pile of books you’ve either piled by your bed or downloaded to your Kindle, cleaning, baking (if you can spare the flour and sugar) or just spending quiet moments outside listening to the birds try to embrace the time to just be. Frankly, I can’t remember having a whole lot of time to just be since I was a very small child.

I know my experience of alone time is not unique, nor is it like everyone else’s. I’m not burdened with the demands of children or confined in an apartment with no access to the outdoors. But one fact that rings true for all of us during this very special time in history is that we are probably all making the time to assess who and what we value. They say that “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” and that can be true but they also say, “out of sight, out of mind,” which can be equally true. As I’m cleaning my closets and weeding my garden beds, I’m also considering who I am cherishing and what I can live without.

Sometimes I wonder what it’ll be like when we all finally emerge from our homes and are able to resume our lives. How much will all this down time change us? I can’t imagine we will be the same. The question is, will we be transformed into something beautiful like butterflies breaking out from a chrysalis or will we just pick up where we left off and plod on? Probably there will be a little of both. One thing I do know is that if we are stuck here until June, we will be very shaggy butterflies indeed!