Happy Birthday Bonnie!

There is an old saying that says, “You can chose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.”  I am so very lucky to say that for our family, that is not quite the case.  In the winter of 2001 when our daughter Maggie was looking for adoptive parents for her unborn child, our lives intersected with those of an amazing couple; Bonnie and Jim. They’re weren’t outstanding in their personal achievements or accomplishments.  Instead, it was in their desire to become parents and their openness to accept someone’s else child into their hearts and home while allowing us, the birth family to stay involved, that made them special.

Their overtures to Maggie were soft and respectful which put me at ease from the start.  They simply invited Maggie to come visit with them and see their home. Maggie was very impressed by the care they gave their geriatric pets.  After visiting their home for the first time, she came back and reported that, “If they can keep dogs alive that long, I’m sure they’ll take good care of my baby.” Decision made, we moved through the last half of Maggie’s pregnancy and all prepared for our new arrival.

Bonnie joined us at Maggie’s OB appointments and read a pile of books on child development and parenting.  She took an active interest in Maggie and her well-being as much as she did in the baby.   It was her care and concern of my child as well as in the one that would be hers that impressed me most.  In the last few months before Seth was born, I think we formed our own support team, each lifting the other up from time to time.

In the fifteen years that have followed since Seth’s birth, we have become more than friends, we are family.  We have shared the joys of welcoming new members into our family like Caleb, Jan and Kaspar, and mourned the passings of Bonnie’s mother Ruby and brother Richard.  We have celebrated Thanksgivings, Christmases and birthdays and shared vacation homes.  We have laughed together and cried together.  In short, we’ve shared everything most families do. I suppose that my thinking that we had anything to do with “choosing” them to be a part of our family is not entirely true because clearly God has been with each and every step of the way.

So Bonnie, I want to wish you a very happy birthday.  You are my sister-in-love (vice law) and I am so grateful and full of joy to have you in my life.  I wish we still lived nearby so we could get together more often than the couple times a year we manage now.  You are a blessing to me, to Maggie and to Seth.  (I’m sure there are others who would like to chime in on this as well, but I’m trying to stay under 500 words!)

Love you!