Celebrating Life

For the most part the month of June has been a time of celebrating life.  It’s not something we do every year; this year is just special.

The celebration started with a reunion with college friends in Atlantic City on the 13th.  There we spent an evening folks we hadn’t seen in a long time, some for almost thirty-eight years. Back in the mid to late 70’s, we all graduated from Rutgers College (RIP) and our reunion had nothing to do with the institution which these days is more concerned about us writing the checks and adding them to our wills than it is in reuniting old friends.  What brought us together initially was Facebook.

It is truly amazing to say goodbye to someone at twenty-one and meet them again when they are sixty!  For the most part, with the exception of the addition of a few pounds and the remission of hairlines, everyone was recognizable.  The person I found the most difficult to remember was myself.  The hosts put together boards with old photos from back in the day.  I have to admit, while I easily recognized the others, I barely recognized myself!  As I looked at my young self I wondered what I was thinking and why I made some of the choices I did.  Mostly I wondered how I could have been so naive.

One apparent change I noticed about myself in this group was the instant rapport and easiness I felt.  I’m no longer the shy, insecure gal I was at 21.  I suppose at this point in life, we are all reasonably sure who we are and not in any great need to make a big impression.  My biggest fear wasn’t that I no longer weighed 110 pounds. I was worried I would be remembered as “Dave’s psycho girlfriend”.  Apparently I wasn’t as bad as I thought I was in those days because if anyone felt that way, they didn’t let me know!

Also coinciding with this college reunion celebration was Dave’s and my thirty-fifth wedding anniversary.  To commemorate the event, our friends presented us with a beautiful cake with our names on it.  Thirty-five years is a long time; a lifetime.  We spent the day together, in the car driving back from New Jersey and eating leftovers when we got home.  Fancy dinners and exotic trips don’t carry you through that many years of marriage, not that they’re not fun.  In reality, it takes the ability to spend seemingly endless hours in DC traffic on a hot day and still be able to laugh with each other to carry you through the long haul.

Our next celebration was not such a happy one nor was it planned for or anticipated.  Not long after we arrived home from our New Jersey trip, my sister-in-love*, Bonnie, called to tell me that her brother Richard had passed unexpectedly the day before.

Richard, who was just a couple of months older than Dave,  seemed perfectly healthy.  He worked at the shipyard and kept a small farm where he raised geese, ducks, goats and kept a couple of dogs for company.  It was a shock to lose him so suddenly and a blatant reminder that no matter how young we may feel at sixty, we are still sixty and more of our lives have passed than will be coming along in the future.

When a family loses a member, there is nothing more reassuring than having as many of the remaining members gather together to celebrate the life of the departed.  So, without a second thought, as soon as we knew the arrangements, Dave and I made plans to drive out to Norfolk for the home-going celebration.

Richard’s service was a celebration of his life and how it touched his family, friends, co-workers and even total strangers.  Through photos we saw his grow from a skinny towhead into the man we knew.  It was a good send-off and while we were all sad to have to say goodbye, we were also thankful to have known him.

This coming Sunday, as this month of life celebrations draws to a close, we will travel to Richmond to celebrate the anticipation of new life as we shower Maggie and Jan with love and of course presents.  With only a little more than six weeks to go before the “Nugget” arrives, we are all growing eager to meet our new family member and learn what he will be called.

This June has been a month of milestone life celebrations for us.  Dave and I have revisited where we met through some of the people we shared that experience with.  We have said good-bye to a member of our extended family and been reminded that it could have just as easily been our time; that there is no time like the present to give someone a hug, a smile or tell them how much they are loved. Best of all, this month will round out with the precious reminder that although our lives will end, another will be coming along to take our place, to carry us all into the future.

 

* Bonnie is my grandson, Seth’s mother.  She and her husband Jim adopted him when he was born.  Through the grace of God we have forged a family unit built on love.  “My grandson’s mother” is just too long a name for her.  She is my sister-in-love.