Communicating with the Non-Dead

Just down the road from us is a Psychic.  I know this because there is a big sign in the yard that says so.  There are always cars parked out front, so I guess people trust that a psychic does live there.   I wonder what credentials are required to hang a sign in front of your house.  If all that is needed is a proven track record, I guess I could put a sign in my yard that says “Listener”.

There are those who claim to possess the ability to communicate with the dead.  The explanation is that spirits are drawn to those who are sensitive and bombard them with information – like an antenna picking up radio waves from the other side.  Well, I seem to be gifted a similar attraction with the living.   No matter where I go I will almost always make a connection with a stranger and come away with a bounty of personal  information about them.

Most of the time, the encounters are short lived and interesting.  Last Monday, while Maggie and I were winding our way through one of the many local antique shops, a very tall elderly man approached us.  I inquired about a scale I spied on a shelf and he explained to tell us it came from a local factory where his mother worked just after the war.  She worked there for over twenty years and died in her nineties of a heart attached.  Sadly his wife died two years ago after a lengthy battle with alzheimer’s.  His son owns the store.  OK, that’s not that much information but it’s probably more than most people would get out of him.  After he stopped talking, he had a funny look on his face as if he was wondering what triggered the information dump and walked away.  I never found out how much he wanted for the scale.

Occasionally, my encounters are longer, trapping me in a place when I really would rather move along.  After Mass on Sunday, we went up to the Hall for coffee to chat with a couple we knew from Hampton Roads.  By the time I got to the pot, it was empty.  I decided to have a cup of tea.  In the time it took to open my Constant Comment packette and pour water over the bag, a short, plump older woman with a cup of coffee in each hand crossed my path.  “Oh dear, I got my husband a cup of coffee and he already has one.” she said.  “He’s Italian, from Italy.  He didn’t even speak American when I met him”  She said.  That was her jumping off point.  She cheerfully told me about her grandmother, who escaped from Germany to Hungary during the war, married a man thirty years her junior and then came to the US.  She already had children and they lived happily until her death at age 86.  Her husband was so despondant, he only lived two years longer and was dead at 58.  I also learned that her husband and her brothers always carried decks of cards with them, ready for a game whenever the opportunity presented itself.  All the while she talked, I waited for the chance to excuse myself to go chat with my friends.  Finally it came and I was able to break away from her voice.

I really don’t mind these information dumps.  Mostly I feel honored that total strangers see something in me that invokes immediate rapport and trust.  Their stories are sacred as is the sharing.  Although these examples are benign, there are times when the information is so very personal that perhaps the only way it can be shared is with a stranger.   These stories I do not share.  They are wrapped tightly and tucked away in a safe place.

A couple of years ago at my Grandma Gray’s memorial service, my cousin Monica’s husband eulogized that my Grandma had a talent for making you feel as if you were the most important person in the world.  Her brow would furrow over her twinkling blue eyes as she listened intently.  I was given her name.  I can only hope I will live to earn the reputation she had to be such a good listener.

 

 

 

 

After….Shock

It’s funny how recent history can affect the way you react to even the most routine events.  This morning as I was pouring my first cup of coffee I heard a rumble.  Thinking “here we go again, I scurried to the nearest door frame to take refuge.  Then, as I looked out the front window I saw the source of the noise – the waste removal truck across the street picking up the neighbor’s weekly garbage.  Even though that truck has been picking up there every Friday morning since we moved here seven weeks ago, I reacted to the most recent of experiences.

I remember after Hurricane Isabel, it was much the same.  Anytime we lost power, even for a few minutes, I broke into a cold sweat.  Even though 99% of the time we had lights out prior to that storm power was restored in a few hours at most, Isabel proved that there is always that 1% that you will need to get by for several days without it.

This morning, as Hurricane Irene heads up the coast, while I may be miles inland where we’re looking at sustained winds of 20 mph, my heart is still in Virginia Beach, mentally inventorying the flashlights, batteries and bottled water.  I’ve offered an open invitation to anyone who would like to come party for the weekend but so far have had no takers.  If I can’t make pancakes and popcorn for you all, I will hold you close to my heart.

Mineral Shakes

Who would have dreamed we’d have so much excitement in our lives leading up to the close of the sale on our home in Virginia Beach?  Yesterday we experienced a 5.9 magnitude earthquake and today the coast is bracing for the approach of the season’s first hurricane!  What next?  Will frogs begin to rain from the skies or a swarm of locust plague Hampton Roads?

Despite nature’s best efforts, the sale will probably go through on Friday.  Our last financial tie with the coastline will be cut but after almost three decades of life in Virginia Beach, there will be many connections.  I was reminded of this yesterday when, after the earthquake, before I even knew what had happened, I received a text from my friend Laura asking in we were OK.  I’d been driving and while stopped at a light had felt the car shake just like we’d caught a strong gust of wind, or had been hit from behind.  There were no cars behind me and the trees weren’t moving so I didn’t know what to think had happened.  When I got home, my Dad asked if we’d heard the explosion.  Almost immediately after that I received Laura’s text.  I decided it might be a good idea to turn on the TV to find out just what was going on and was very surprised to discover we were only thirty miles from the epicenter from the strongest earthquake to hit the east coast in almost 150 years.  Who’d have thought?

We spent some time in front of the TV, mesmerized by the pictures of crumbled brick walls and groceries strewn in the aisles.  The video clips showed the thirty seconds or so of shaking – all of which I missed sitting in the car.  It was important to connect to the greater community for reassurance and an explanation.

Although the phone lines were flooded with folks trying to connect, I received about a dozen calls and texts from friends and family checking-in.  It was amazing how far-reaching the shaking was felt.  My sister Barb in Syracuse felt her desk chair shake.  My friends in Virginia Beach had to evacuate their offices and take the stairs up and down from the eighth floor.  One of my neighbors was on the golf course and remarked that the cows in the adjacent pastures were “talking” just after the quake.

Today is beautiful, the sun is shining and it is breezy.  While we were out running errands I heard someone remark that they thought this was the beginning of Hurrican Irene.  I choose to believe it is just a pretty day.   A few minutes ago, as I was recalling all the people I spoke to yesterday, I thought of one important person I hadn’t spoken to – our dear friend SunNam in Hawaii.

SunNam was our landlady and surrogate mother for the three years we lived on Oahu.  Since leaving, she calls us everything time there is any kind of emergency on the East Coast.  Whenever we have experienced a hurricane or blizzard, SunNam has called to make sure we’re alright.  She even called when the DC sniper terrorized the the area and after the attach on September 11th.  I realized she didn’t have our new phone number so I called her to let her know we were safe.

So, I when I put things in the proper perspective, how can I be concerned with a few obstacles when I have such a bounty of friends and family who stand ready to lift us up if we do fall?  As the song goes, “no storm (or quake) can shake my inmost calm, while to that rock I’m clinging……”

 

 

 

 

Blue Ridge High

What is it about mountains that touch the soul so deeply?  Julie Andrews ran to them, John Denver sang about them and the Apostles wanted wanted to build a theme park on one – me, I just love seeing them.

Hands down, the greatest charm of living at the Gateway to the Blue Ridge, is the Blue Ridge.  I can see the green rolling hills all the time, anytime I want and I want to see them a lot.  Some people say they feel a connection to the divine in the infinite span of a seascape.  Me, I find it faroff and unattainable.  Give me a mountain that I can see in entirety all the way to the top.  I know that the trip to the summit of my mountains wouldn’t be easy but it certainly could be done on my own two feet without walking on water.

I felt the same connection to creation while living in Hawaii.  There is was possible to see both the ocean and a mountain time all at one time.  It’s no wonder that Hawaiian culture has spiritualized nature so completely.  If your eyes are open, it is impossible to miss.  Here in the foothills of the Blue Ridge it is the same.

Life…. on the Road

I passed a major milestone yesterday.  On my way home from the grocery store the odometer on my CRV turned 100,000 miles.  I’ve never put that many miles on a car before.  Even our late Nissan Sentra (RIP) which we also owned for eleven years had less than 50,000 on it and when it was hit.  Such a long distance – four times around the earth – where had we been in my sporty little Honda?

Mostly, the miles were short trips, back and forth to work, church or the store.  I remember the first time I drove it to work when it was bright and shiny red and had that “new car smell”.   My office pals all came out to the parking lot to watch politely as I proudly opened all the doors.  They oohed and aahed when I pulled out the back wheel well cover and pulled its legs revealing a card table in disguise!  Practical and utilitarian, my CRV was all I wanted in a car with the added bonus of providing me with an elevated view of the road – something nature had denied me.  Never again would rain flooded streets keep me from arriving at my destination.

Aside from the day to day commutes to and from work and the errands of life, the CRV has taken us on many road trips.   The first was to take Maggie to Longwood for Freshman orientation.  With its abundant cargo space, my little red car was ideal for carting kids back and forth to college.  That fall, it was Maggie, the next fall was Andy’s turn.  One Thanksgiving, when car pools fell through, we took a round trip with Maggie to Farmville and then headed south to drop Andy off in Durham.  Sadly , we will remember that trip as “the time we hit the fox”.  Fortunately that is the only one notch on our bumper.

I was rear-ended once on my way home from work.  It was a rainy evening and the guy behind me just barely hit me, ripping my wheel cover and badly damaging his front grill.  We both deemed it unnecessary of policy or insurance company involvement but exchanged business cards.  He actually called me the next day to make sure I was OK.

The CRV is great for toting things.  We proved this with our three local moved in Virginia Beach.  It is truly amazing what can be crammed into that car.   Over the years we have hauled furniture, shrubbery, mulch, loads to the Goodwill and did pick-ups from the Food Bank and BJ’s to the St. Mark’s Food Pantry – not mentioning the countless trips to and from college campuses.  One time, while shopping at Sam’s Club, we saw an old woman and her son attempting to fit an oversized television box (not a flat screen) into the trunk of her car.  No way was it going to fit.  We offered our assistance and followed her home with the TV in the back of our car!

The CRV is also a great beach car, easily holding all the chairs, coolers, umbrellas and assorted beach stuff needed for a day or even week at the beach.  Because of this, I’m ashamed to admit that my car has not been the tidiest vehicle on the road.  Many times its carpets have been dirt and sand covered and the litter bags overflowing with tissues and candy wrappers, bearing witness to my season allergies and life long sweet tooth.  Once I won a bet and a couple of my friends were supposed to have it detailed for me, but somehow that never happened.

I do love my CRV.  Sometimes I see a newer model or even another kind of car and think it might be nice to have a new one but then I’ll come out of a store scanning the lot to see where I’ve parked and see the now faded cherry red paint of my car, with the cheery Jack In The Box clown ball on my antenea and fall in love all over again.  God willing and the creek don’t rise over my wheel wells, I’ll be driving my CRV for another 100,000 miles!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Magic of Tupperware

I spent most of yesterday in the kitchen measuring, chopping, dicing, beating, baking and cooking preparing a meal for people I didn’t even know.   Such is the life of the corporate housewife.  (Can you picture me in my frilly apron, my sweaty brow smeared with flour?)  Dave wanted to welcome a couple who were relocating to the C’ville area.  Having made so many moves ourselves, we know what a difference it makes when someone takes the time to help you settle in so we in turn, do the same.

My first task was to choose a menu.  I dove into my cookbooks and then onto the web to find the perfect recipes eventually deciding on a honey lime pork tenderloin with mango salsa and rice pilaf.  For dessert I chose a cream cheese pound cake from Southern Living.  Easy enough, right?  Thanksgiving dinner looks easy enough on paper too.  But, when the pantry and frig  doors  open and all the ingredients are strewn across the counter and the actually preparation begins, time quickens to warp speed until you realize that you’ve spent most of the day on your feet, there is still much to be done and the house is not quite as you would wish it to look. Whew!

I’ve discovered that the best weapon in my arsenal to handle these three ring circus meals is Tupperware.  Yes, Tupperware.  With my arsenal of brightly colored bowls and gadgets, I can prep my ingredients and keep them organized for each step in the cooking process all the way to serving.  I never really realized how much I depend on these treasures until at one point yesterday I surveyed my counter and there were no less than a dozen Tupperware products in use.  I had bowls with burping lids, choppers, measuring cups and spoons, a citrus juicer and pitcher in a kaleidoscope of colors containing  the lime juice, mango, peaches, raspberries, peppers, carrots, celery, onions and garlic ready for action.  How did this happen that so many items purchased at parties throughout the years could be gathered to work in concert towards one end?  I don’t know.  I do know that yesterday I was able to justify all those bits of plastic that fall so clumsily from me cupboards when least expected!

As for the dinner itself, the food was tasty and the couple who entered my front door as strangers left as friends making the hours of toil and today’s aching muscles well worth the effort.

PS.  This has been an uncompensated endorsement of Tupperware.  Thanks to all of you Tupperware Ladies who have through the years carted your station wagons and minivans laden with your wares from house to house to share the marvels of the magic burping bowls.  I couldn’t have done it without you!

 

 

 

Monticello – Part II

I went back to Monticello for the second time on Saturday.  Mom and Dad had arrived on Friday and it just seemed like the thing to do.

Seeing Monticello with an all adult group was a much different experience than my trip with the boys.  No one ran ahead or had to be reminded not to touch anything and there was a little less confusion involved.  It was as if I’d been a scout on my first tour, living with the Indians, returning to bring the settlers through the wilderness.  I had a good working knowledge of the layout and it was nice to know where the elevators were to save Mom the trials of the steps.  I don’t think you could ever see all if the estate in one day, or even two.  Dave and I picked up annual passes so we’ll be really well versed in Monticello lore when our next set of visitors arrives.

That evening while I had Izzie outside for some fresh air, I made a tactical error.  I saw the
neighbor’s dog, Marky, out in the yard and decided to go over and say hello.  She’s an unusual looking creature; a pit bull Airedale mix, with the easy going, friendly personality of most mutts.  As I approached, she jumped up on the fence, her tail wagging happily.
Izzie must have mistook these actions as an attack and came at the poor dog with all the ferocity she could muster; back arched, tail puffed, hissing, spitting and swatting through the fence.  Like a fool, I reached down to grab Izzie by the scruff of her neck to
pull her off the dog when she turned and bit me – hard.  Her bite broke the skin on my wrist both top and bottom and began to bleed.  I got Izzie back inside, washed and  bandaged my wound and went on with my evening.

After church on Sunday, my hand and arm didn’t look so good.  The bite was red and angry and a long thin line of red ran from my wrist all the way up to the crease in my
elbow.  It is a mystery why these things always happen on weekends outside a doctor’s normal office hours.  This, compounded by our newness to this area weighted my decision to just wait until Monday to “see how it goes”.   Besides, we were expecting Dave’s sister,
Ginny and her husband George for dinner and I felt OK. George and Ginny arrived about five-thirty on the heels of a nasty thunder storm.  Not long after their arrival, just as I was about to begin cooking, the power went out.  We were planning on grilling our pork
tenderloin so it was easy enough to just toss the asparagus on the grill as well and our meal went on as planned.  All through dinner, people kept asking me if I felt OK.  I was a bit warm and clammy because the air-conditioning had been out for a couple of hours, my hand hurt and the red streak was a bit thicker, but otherwise I felt alright.  After a brief discussion on how bad my arm looked, it was the general consensus of my family that I should go to the emergency room  ASAP.  Ginny said she was going to bed early anyway
and she would sleep better knowing I was on antibiotics.  Mom agreed.  Dad and George, men who’ve both been married for a long time, wisely chose to agree with their wives.  Dave announced that if we were going to go, we needed to get going.  Naturally, even injured, it was my job to find out where we were going.  I looked up the addresses of both local hospitals and loaded them into the Garman and off we drove into the night (it was about eight thirty).

It took just about twenty minutes to get to the Martha Jefferson Hospital emergency room.  Any fears I had about going to a downtown emergency room were squashed as soon as I walked through the door and a cheery security guard welcomed me and asked me
what my trouble was.  I told him I had a cat bite.  He didn’t look surprised and simply remarked, “they can be nasty” as he called for a triage nurse.  Apparently they get three to four infected cat bites in the ER in any given week so my concern that I was wasting the time of medical professions was unfounded.  Cats’ teeth are so small that they work almost like hypodermic needles, pushing the bacteria from their mouths and worse yet, your skin down into your muscle tissue providing an excellent breading ground for infection.

Two and a half hours later we were back on the road home.  I’d been x-rayed for broken tooth fragments, poked for blood tests and a given new tetanus shot and a bag of IV antibiotics.  I felt a lot better, both physically and emotionally.  I couldn’t have asked for kinder care givers.   Sadly, I also had to complete a state “animal bite” form registering Izzie as an offender.  Yes, she is now a feline felon.

When we got home a little after midnight, the house was dark.  Not a creature was stirring –most noticeably, not Izzie who generally greets us whenever we come home.  Calls didn’t bring her, inside or out.  All closets were opened to see if she’d been shut up somewhere but no Izzie.  Finally, tired to the bone, Dave and I elected to leave her in God’s hands for the night and went off to bed.

It is amazing how quiet a house becomes when you know someone is missing.  The absence of the soft tinkle of Izzie’s collar bell and rabies tag was deafening.  It made falling asleep a challenge but eventually we did.

The next morning we both woke about six. While Dave padded to the bathroom to brush his teeth, I hurried to the back door to see it there was a cat to drag in and there was!  Like
to proverbial prodigal, Izzie slinked in, rubbing against my legs as she did.   We’d both had adventures the night before and were glad to see each other and to be home.  Since that morning, she hasn’t left my side much, nor does she venture too far from the deck when we take her out for some air.  I know that eventually she will want to push the envelope and explore and may even spend another night or two outside.  I also know that if she finds her way home, I will always open the door to welcome her back.

Monticello – Part One

The past couple of weeks have been chock full of activity in our house.  Last Monday, we welcomed our first overnight visitors, Bonnie and the boys – welcomed them, that is, after guiding them to our “Garman stealth” location via Bonnie’s cell phone.  Although our street is six years old, doesn’t appear on all satellite maps, rendering Google maps and some navigation systems useless.  It’s just another quirk about living in the country.

After a quick tour of the new house, both boys declared it wonderful and set off to explore and settle in to their room.  I put them in the FROG (finished room over the garage) where they would have plenty of room, access to the toys, games, puzzles, TV and Wii.  They were in heaven!  Most of the time we were home, the boys were happily up in there room providing Bonnie and I plenty of quiet time to visit.  Probably Seth and Caleb’s favorite feature in our new house was the jetted tub in our bathroom.   Calling it the “Wonderful Bath” they eagerly jumped into it each night before bed, enjoying long soaks as the jetted water bubbled around them.

Tuesday morning we toured Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello.  Mr. Thomas Jefferson was an interesting fellow and his home definitely reflected his personality and varied interests.  I saw some innovative features that would helpful to many homes.  I especially liked the wine bottle dumb waiters on either side of the fireplace in the dining room which brought fresh bottles of wine to the table and took the empties away.  While most of the world may view Jefferson as the author of the Declaration of Independence,
we here in Virginia are also thankful that although personally unsuccessful at it, Jefferson introduced wine making to our area of the state!

Monticello offered many hands-on exhibits where Seth and Caleb could get a taste of life in colonial Virginia.  They both tried writing with a quill.  Seth became inspired and wrote a page full, while poor Caleb demonstrated just why all children in those days were forced to write with their right hands.  Left-handedness and quills are not a good mix.  To soothe his frustration, I led him to an area where the making of a memory journal were offered.  Then, for the rest of our time there, I took pictures per his instruction to add to his journal.

Another exhibit both boys enjoyed was the Griffin Discovery Room.  Tucked away in a quiet corner of the visitor’s center, this discovery area offers hand’s-on enjoyment geared
towards children, but Bonnie and I both enjoyed sitting in the replica chairs
and having a go at Jefferson’s code wheels and “polygraph”.  Seth busied himself by systematically checking out each item while Caleb gravitated to the replica slave family home and began cooking at the fireside. Later, when I asked him what kind of house it was, he said it was for “people helping people”.  I suppose from the display that is what he saw, skilled craftsmen and women helping the Jefferson family – not the best way to look at slavery.

That evening after dinner, Poppa treated the boys to a marshmallow roast in the fire pit out back.  It was great fun.  The boys enjoyed the fire and the roasting, but I think Bonnie and I enjoyed eating the marshmallows more than the boys did!  We had one near-miss when Seth’s marshmallow became aflame and he yanked it out of the fire and almost into Caleb’s hair.  For the most part, it was one of those peaceful moments, a memory in the making, when all the memories of past marshmallow roasts and evening fires flood my mind, bringing all the family and friends who’ve shared these times with me.  It’s a communion of sorts, sharing the molten clouds of sugar with family and remembering those of the past, leaving me warm inside.

The next morning, they were off.  As they were leaving Seth said, “I wish we never had to leave.”  I told him I hoped he would always feel that way about coming to my house.  What a great visit.

Settling In

It’s had to believe that three weeks ago today we left our home in Virginia Beach for our new life here in the shadow of the Blue Ridge.  Despite the short time, it is faily safe to say that our new house has been transformed into our home.  Just as in our previous house, I continuously battle to maintain a clean kitchen counter; the guest room is the tidiest room in the house while the little room is the messiest and a pile of  “to be filed” bills and statements grows steadily on my desk.  The pantry is well stocked, the laundry caught up (except for the ironing of course) and the lawn is kept mowed.

The former abode is comfortably under contract.  Today’s property inspection is the last hurdle to determine just how much we will have to bring to the table to complete the sale.  It is a sad thing, to lose so much money on something so well-loved.  Thoughtfully, we remind ourselves that we purchased that house as a home, not an investment.  The additional funds invested in our numerous remodeling projects were to enhance our quality of life, not to increase its value, although that would have been nice.  I only hope that the new owners will love and care for our “beach” home as much as we did.

As for me, I’m falling in love with my new home.  I’m still fine tuning the furniture and picture arrangements and contemplating paint colors.  As for the area, I am already smitten.  Yesterday I continued my local nesting by joining a gym and having my toes done.   Men will undoubtedly fail to understand the importance of tidy pink toenails as it pertains to the nesting process; and I suppose that’s a good thing.  For me, it means that I have ventured into my new surroundings, made a new connection and life goes on.

 

Cattitude

Cats are weird creatures.  It is a fact that just can’t be disputed.  Izzie, our three year old calico is no exception.  Since moving here, she has made it clear that she approves of her change of abode and is thoroughly enjoying the new adventures as she explores the new sights and sounds both indoors and out.

Instead of a small, flat suburban yard surrounded by a stockade fence, Izzie now has free range of a quarter of an acre of gently rising back yard and woods.   There are birds to stalk, squirrels to harass and moths to pounce on.   The only downside to her outdoor experience is that I am unwilling to allow her our unescorted.  And, like all “teens”  she resents restrictions and expresses her contempt by insinuating herself in my activities, in case I may not have noticed her desires.  Usually this involves a walk on the counter, assisting me with my jig saw puzzle on the dining room table or in extreme instances, scratching the family room furniture.  Despite the cajoling, she carries on non-plussed as if to say, “whatever!”

A couple of days after we moved in I decided to give the jetted tub a cleaning after my first soak resulted in clumps of black gunk rising from the jets.  I filled the tub, added some Clorox, ran the jets and then let it soak for a few minutes.   When I returned to the bathroom, I noticed a large wet spot in front of the door.  Worried I might have a leak, I scanned the area and found Izzie on the floor at the end of my bed licking off her very wet legs.  Mystery solved, I gathered her up in a towel and took her down to the kitchen sink to hose her off.  She tolerated the re-bath pretty well can then allowed me to towel her off a bit before jumping down to retreat to some secret place to lick her fur and soothe her wounded pride.

For all her demands and tantrums, Izzie is good company.  My heart melts every time I hear her calling for me from another room, waiting for my answer.  I tell her where I am and soon she trots in, meows, rubs my ankles and then moves on.  Despite her lust for independence, she still needs to know I’m here for her.

She’s just like a kid, or for that matter me.  Maybe cats aren’t so weird afterall….